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"Weed" Atcheson

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Written by Franklin Crawford

Illustrated by Rigel Stuhmiller


Last Updated on Friday, 19 September 2014 18:18

In Celebration of Labyrinth Day, May 3, 2014, spoken word improv ...

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Pictured Above: This year's Labyrinth Challenge ... Extreme Labyrinthians, this one's a toughie. Find your way from the only entry point in the crystal structure of the aminoglycoside resistance methlytranferase NpmA and exit through the symmetrical portal -- watch out for the binding to the 30S ribosomal unit and beware of any false symmetry. We expect to lose a few folks there. Get psyched to get nano! And bring your special glass thread.


Ariadne, mama
Where's that thread
You let me use that time
I got lost in the corn maize
And couldn't solve the riddle
About the Minotaur and damn
Nearly got trampled by a 8-point buck
was lost in there with me ...
Wasn't for that thread ...
Where is that thread? I spooled
it up all nice in an egg shape on
a piece of bamboo rod 
I think I left it in the shop
You seen it? It ain't in this drawer
with the keys, the mini vacuum cleaner bags
and that ball of rubber bands and these twist ties
and what's this? Instructions on how to assemble -- 

Honey we don't even have that appliance any more
Where's the thread, Ariadne, baby?
I hear this year's labyrinth is a killer 
You know I tried that trick that one time, 
Just put my right hand on the wall and figured if 
I went all around the inside with my hand touching the wall and then the wall split? i mean it, branched-off -- !
and I had to make like, uhh, I had to make an
"intellectual decision" about what was right and left?
Remember? I lost my instinctual sense, you know
I ain't good and failed that suvivor's orienteering course ... 
And in the dripping dark --
that goddamn Spanish guy with the bull's head come breathing up on me all in a big sweat sniffing around and --

Hey, where were you that night anyway, I mean, after I got back?

Ariadne, I don't wanna ask again honey child,
I am not an angry man, you know me
Just give me a hint -- look, I'll use fishing line, I ain't proud, I don't need spun gold
or blood red ... I just

I just wanna make sure I got it cut to length okay, baby?

C'mon now, you don't wanna see get your boy lost like that 
Other time, do you? That was embarrassing for 
the whole Extreme Labyrinth Men's Ensemble ...
Or do you? 
I know you know where it is ... Don't leave me like this, 
Don't leave me wondering if you'll gimme a 
little piece just before the competition starts. 
Ariadne, baby, please ... I'm asking you nice now ...

Don't tell me you used it for that silly yarn-bombing event ... don't you tell me that ...

Last Updated on Friday, 02 May 2014 14:27

Chad has laryngitis, so our ham-fisted stagehand had to fill in on out first CHAD TAWK

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Last Updated on Friday, 21 March 2014 09:10
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