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Tiny Town Cops handle 68 incidents on Aug. 4: Here are a few

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TINY TOWN, USA – Police here responded to a heap of calls on Tuesday, at least one of them deadly. 

An officer dispatched a deer that was badly injured by a car on Cliff St at 2:26 p.m. By "dispatched" we assume some form of euthanasia was delivered via automatic weapon. 

There was a call earlier in the day of a car-deer accident on Floral Ave. at 1:13 a.m.  It is unclear if the deer in these incidents is the same. Authorities are waiting for next of kin to respond to a salt lick left near the scene. 

A truck also hit a deer near Route 13 and Stewart Park at 4:38 p.m. Truck okay, no news about the deer. 

Juveniles seemed to be in the mood for tossing rocks and garbage but they are fleet-footed these little scabeens, and officers didn't nab any suspects. Juveniles were reported to be tossing rocks and slinging mud at a house on Chestnut street, and dropping cans from the top of E. Green St. parking garage at various times in the night. Most likely juveniles also were involved in a report of rocks being thrown at cars on Meadow St.

Not all juvies got away. A couple of young shoplifters were nabbed on Hancock Street around 11 a.m.

A dog was reported to be locked in a car with the windows rolled up somewhere in the Big Box District. The car was gone by the time the cops got there. 

Dogs figured in another complaint -- no less from the Dog Park itself! Apparently there was an overly aggressive canine report at about 4:15 p.m. No such canine was found. 

Someone on Mitchell St. complained about unwanted emails (Would that we all filed a complaint – it would shut the city down). The case is still pending. 

The item of most curious note: "Writer responded to individuals involved in a verbal argument" on Third. St. The case is still pending. Who this writer is – author of the activity log, writer of novels, scribbler of dirty limericks? We don't know. But the idea of sending a writer out to handle a quarrel is innovative police work and we look forward to the results.

–– C. Penbroke Handy

Last Updated on Thursday, 06 August 2009 21:43

Choice Items from Tiny Town's Weekend Police Activity Log

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TINY TOWN, USA – The following items are REAL and will give the discerning reader an understanding of the kind of nonsense Tiny Town's police have to deal with on an average summer weekend. 

These were taken from an activity log that included lots of car accidents, noise complaints, fights, and other more serious matters such as the officers injured on Saturday night at E. Clinton St. We will follow up on that report. 

But in this list of mundane activities here we see what life is like in Copland during the weekend of July 31-Aug. 2:


1:14 a.m. .. warning issued for noise ... Elm Street

2:02 a.m. ... suspicious noises reported, no problems found ...  Elmira Rd.

3:34 a.m. ... officer assisted a person with a "moving" problem ... E. State St.*

5:20 a.m.  ... officer assisted a resident with a bat in their residence ... Brandon Pl. 

8:22 a.m. ... officer responds to an accidental 911 hang-up call at a medical business office ... Taughannock Blvd. 

9:22 a.m. ... officer assisted an individual who dropped her keys down a storm grate  ... W. Seneca St.

9:36 a.m. ... Officer took a reprt regarding illegal disposal of solid waste ... Ferris Pl.


11:54 a.m. ... officer was unable to find young adults smoking marijuana in a parking garage ... Tioga St. *

11:55 a.m. ... report of a woman in her car, holding her head ... car was gone when officer got there ... Fulton and State Sts.*

12:01 p.m. ... officer took a report of two group home runaways ... Corn St. 

1:28 p.m. ... someone yelling in a front yard ... (followed by 2 aggravated harassment reports) ... W. Village Pl.

4:30 p.m.  ... ticket issued for dog on the commons ... N. Tioga St. 

4:35 p.m. ... Funeral escort ... S. Geneva st.

5:38 p.m. ... aggressive panhandling complaint resolved ... N. Tioga St.

8:35 p.m. ... bag of pot found under a building ... Elmira Rd. *

10:58 p.m. ...  subject arrested for slapping another person ... E. State St. 

Aug. 1, 2009:

2:25 a.m. ... warning issued to loud party ... Hudson St. 

4:37 a.m. ... driver busted for DWI after routine traffic stop ... Buffalo and Plain Sts. 

8:49 a.m. ... officer spoke to 2 subjects who were "squatting" in a vacant apartment ... W. Seneca St. 

1:34 p.m. ... two people busted for shoplifting ... Fairground Memorial Pkwy

1:38 p.m. ... someone reported getting a non-threatening text from some unknown individual ... W. Lincoln  ***

5:23 p.m. .. report of a handgun found under a porch !!! -- Morris Ave.

9:21 p.m. ... suspicious people near dragon boats in Cass Park ... no one found ... **

9:39 p.m. ... Loud beer pong party reported, warning issued ... Quarry St.

10:23 p.m. ... Person involved in a street fight arrested ... State and Albany Sts.

11:23 p.m. ... OFFICER INJURED IN LINE OF DUTY -- NATURE OF CALL NOT EXPLAINED!!! --call placed to IPD no answer 

Aug. 2, 2009 

1:27 a.m. ... AGAIN!!!  OFFICER INJURED IN LINE OF DUTY -- NATURE OF CALL NOT EXPLAINED!!! --call placed to IPD no answer


2:01 a.m. ... person complained about being spat on ... E. Clinton St. 

3:25 a.m. ... person sleeping by the side of the road ... Spencer Rd. 

3:48 a.m. ... responded to a complaint that turned out to be a basketball game ... Cascadilla St. 

8:56 a..m. ... landlord found capped needles in a vacant apartment ... W. Seneca St.

4:22 p.m. ... Report of a 3-year old taking an ice cream out of a store ... W. State St. 

5:16 p.m. ... Larceny from a recycling bin reported ... Fairgrounds Memorial Pkwy.

11:29 p.m. ... a window on the commons was broken by shot from a  BB gun ...


Last Updated on Wednesday, 05 August 2009 09:35


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pp feet

 THEMS GOOD EATS: Above -- Generic pigs feet, in a jar.




Last Updated on Friday, 31 July 2009 17:55

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