Franklin Crawford

I am not going to read your leftist, rightist, anti-Cornell, pro-communist, anti-Grassroots, anti-Walter Cronkite, pro-Lake Source Cooling, anti-Michael Jackson, anti-Inlet sludge,  proletariat drivel. All you do is feature pictures of that guy in the halter-top and hot pants.  Why would a guy wear a halter top and hot pants?  Why, to get his sorry-butt pictured in Tiny Town Times. Why dont you feature articles about the opinions of the teenagers on the Commons.  They have opinions, too. And judging by the amount of babies those clove-smokin' teenagers have, they have active libidos. Tell 'em to buy some rubbers. Fewer clove cigarettes and more rubbers!

Heinrich Zussman

Town of Ithaca

Dear TinyTownTimes,

Here's my question for an investigative reporter.  Who gets to say what pieces of "sculpture" (as opposed to "structure") go on the Commons, in front of the Library, or now even in the once pristine Dewitt Park? 

Having metal people sitting around may be okay, but most of what passes for art downtown is truly embarrassing.  And tourists leave here with photos of each other in front of a, what, ass? ( Is that how we wish to be remembered?  Weren't we once voted the most enlightened city in the US?) 

I have asked everyone I could think of what the selection process is and no one admits to knowing.  Do you?

STJ, concerned Ithacan-American

A TTT.com editor replies: Oh the answer is simple: A secret kabal of self-appointed doyens of decency and gate keepers of the mundane meet once a year in a closed door session, drink California Chardonnay and draw names of "artists" from a miniature kiva woven from local grasses by a blind one legged artisan. Whatever name comes up is handed to the Grand Exalted Art Doyen and she/or he/or both depending on the day, then puts the name in her/her/its mouth and chews on it. There is silence during the mastication process and a sigh of relief when the chief declares, "Yes, we shall place an ass on the ass end of the Commons. Surely someone will get the joke."

That is about as best we know at the time. More, of course, shale be revealed. 

TTT.com editor, CPH

PICTURED: The metal ass so beloved by Ithacan-Americans and Han Chinese tourists. The sculpture is remarkable for not bearing any signs of vandalism. The idea behind acquisitions of metal sculpture may in fact be its resistance to damage from the No Visible Means of Support posse of malcontent drop-outs who are as common as squirrels, deer and therapists in Tiny Town.