Home General Assignment
News from around Tiny Town

Demo Memo 50 ... From the blog by Ex-Pat Ithacan Cheryl Russell

E-mail Print PDF

Reddit!
Del.icio.us!
Facebook!
StumbleUpon!
Twitter!

Buck Up: K&H Redemption Center in Ithaca NY, is one place where a dollar bill is standard coin. Jonathan Stank, owner, redeems a collector's deposit for the day.

How Many $1 Bills?

Economists study many things and one of them is cash, tracing its flow into and out of your wallet. They collect information about how we use cash through the Diary of Consumer Payment Choice, in which a representative sample of the public records its purchases for three days. The survey collects information on how much cash people have at the beginning of each day (including cash denominations) and how they pay for purchases throughout the day. Here are a few of the findings from the 2012 survey...

Percentage of consumers...
With cash at the beginning of the day: 81%
With a $1 bill at the beginning of the day: 64%
Who made a cash transaction during the day: 50%

At the start of the day, consumers had a median of two $1 bills. That's not some random number. The Fed analysis finds that we actively manage our $1 bills. We don't want too many, but we also don't want to be without. The sweet spot—the target number of $1 bills we want in our wallet—is between two and three.

Source: Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, U.S. Consumer Holdings and Use of $1 Bills

 

Generational Labels

Percentage of each generation that identifies with the generation's name...

Millennials: 40%
Generation X: 58%
Baby Boomers: 79%

Source: Pew Research Center, Most Millennials Resist the "Millennial" Label

From Demo Memo by Cheryl Russell  http://demomemo.blogspot.com/

Russell is a demographer and the editorial director of New Strategist Publications. She is the former editor-in-chief of American Demographics magazine (then located in Ithaca) and The Boomer Report. She is the author of Bet You Didn't Know and other books on demographic trends. She holds a master's degree in sociology/demography from Cornell University.

Last Updated on Monday, 07 September 2015 20:09
 

Tiny Town Whistle Pig's Death in Mausoleum Collapse Noted

E-mail Print PDF

Reddit!
Del.icio.us!
Facebook!
StumbleUpon!
Twitter!

 

ORANGE MOURNING FENCE: The collapse a city cemetery mausoleum led to the unattended death of a local woodchuck whose name is withheld until family can be notified.

Tiny Town, USA -- The tiny town staff has learned of the sad fate of a woodchuck who had taken up residence in a formerly stolid mausoleum in Ithaca's City Cemetery.
According to our source who attended a tour of the cemetery Saturday, Aug. 15, a once proud and ample varmint met its fate in the confines of a local crypt, one of several that calmly abide the tides of time near the University Avenue entrance to our landmark necropolis.
No autopsy was performed, but the cause of death appeared obvious to volunteers who are now engaged upon the noble duties of restoring the venerated boneyard. 
(Be at peace, we are going through all the synonyms for "graveyard" at a funereal pace). 
Let our thoughts wander to that moment when our deceased woodchuck, also known as groundhog and whistle pig, first made its discovery of what must've seemed a palace to the burrowing creature. Imagine finding a home readily built with various means of access and egress, banked into a hill and fully furnished; separate compartments for children as they grow older; ample forage and no need to cross a city thoroughfare! 
Hog heaven! 
For a time at least. 
Who knows why this unfortunate beast felt it necessary to improve upon his digs. Perhaps predators had gotten wind of its upscale chuckhole. 
In any case, what appeared to be a perfectly safe home within waddling distance of work, tidy cupboards with handy tooth-sharpening bones of some other lowly mammal, and a shelter for hibernation all the hard winter long. 
What could do wrong? 
Home improvements we suspect. Upscaling and trickle down to the lowliest millipede in Festaville. This City Cemetery 'chuck got ideas about putting in an extra breezeway or second entrance for guests – perhaps it had set its mind to creating the first Whistle Pig B&B. 
We do not know what caused the animal to desire additions to its stately pleasure dome. A witness believes it was female, having seen her comings and goings. We only know that at some point, this woodchuck's luck ran out. Perhaps while burrowing or installing wainscoting along a hallway exit, the sepulchre collapsed, crushing the formidable foe of farmers under enough Llenroc and sandstone to squash a team of masons. 
No one can date the hour of the whistle pig's parting from this vale of tears. In the end it was spared the humiliation of a roadside death or the horror of being torn apart by dogs. 
"I loved that groundhog," said a resident who lives across the way and asked to remain anonymous. "She had babies, too."
Ah, the bitter plight of our local fauna.

BETTER DAYS: Sugar Mom Whistle Pig before she started "moving on up" to the East Hill.

– Tiny Town Staff of One  ...

Last Updated on Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:43
 

Is Davey Weathercock in danger of being struck by lightning?

E-mail Print PDF

Reddit!
Del.icio.us!
Facebook!
StumbleUpon!
Twitter!

 

There is cohesion among the activities of David S. Warren , a former tinytowntimes.com atmospheric scientist, Olive the Weather Hen, and death by lightning strike. The following notes explain but a little of this triadic congruence:

Tiny Town Satellite of Aurora – The parallels are just too striking.

In this year alone, two people were killed by a lightning strike while they were "Covering Chickens" under a tree. The deaths occurred in June in the City of Opp in Alabama. You can find the names, dates and some detail by referring to  the handy-dandy guide we co-opted from government sources.

To date, 22 people have died after being hit by the extremely sharp, jagged edges of thunderbolts hurled by Thor, a burly Afro-Cumulus Nimbi whose anvil-topped peaks resemble the fine fades acquired by Spike Lee back in the day when he threatened to sue the European Union for refusing to declare Thor was a black man, possibly of Ethiopian heritage.

Pictured along with our  database and map: Davey Weathercock, attempting a modern Benjamin Franklin experiment using only his nose and forearms with which he clutched the most sensitive atmospherical data-collecting device Weathercock ever had the good accident to add to his explorations and recreations of climatic events that are still viewed on feeble bandwidths across The Great Divide.

That would be: Olive, the Weather Hen.

Here you see the extreme sport of attracting lightning via means of a "covering" a chicken, outside Weathercock's elaborate National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administrative station.

The human remains alive, fowl tempter of Fates that he is. But Weathercock's experiments with covering chickens outside of his home under a tree during electrical storms ultimately led to the death of Olive, the Weather Hen.

Upon her beak can here be seen the numerous attempts by Thor to ruffle Olive's feathers. She was a rare-bird, a descendant of the Plymouth Rock Barred species, but by accident part Jinn and capable of producing human children, from eggs.

This untold piece of our tale remains a secret. However, we do know that Weathercock was not fond of child-rearing outside of matrimony and he made his nuptials with Olive in a secret ceremony in 2012.

– C. Penbroke Handy, future correspondent now

 

Last Updated on Saturday, 15 August 2015 22:01
 

Lime Green Kool-Aid spill at Cornell University

E-mail Print PDF

Reddit!
Del.icio.us!
Facebook!
StumbleUpon!
Twitter!

DRINK-UP: Whatever Could it Be?

 

Tiny Town, USA – Alert citizen X was crossing the bridge of sighs at EastEduCorp.com. X,  looked down and noticed a lovely bright green radiator-beverage spilling from the maw of a corporation tube.

Said image-taker reported the beautiful effluent to the second responders at the Department of Environmental Conversation and it is reported that the jolly green liquid is nothing more than glycol. As we all know, Glycol is in a class of organic compounds belonging to the the alcohol family. So, you know, it's good for you

In the molecule of glycol, two hydroxyl (-OH) groups are attached to different carbon atoms.  You'll some times hear a local saying something about "knocking back a half pint of ethylene glycol" to get themselves right in the morning, especially if "there isn't any Sterno around."

Joanne B. of Lansing posted: "Saw it while walking and reported it. Then when I came back through the Cornell employee said it was glycol from the heating system of one of the buildings and they were trying to figure out which one. I hope they figure it out soon."

We'd show you a picture of its atomic structure but why should we bother?

The corporation's agency of safety told the folks here that it was nothing more than a "storm drain dye test" ... That's the most we can make of it.

Another rumor spread that a performance-enhancing human electrolyte-replacement fluid the color of Lime Green Kool-Aid was rejected by all participants, especially the children,  in the organization's summer camp program owing to the "foul Jonestown tasting piss water" ... Subsequently forty gallons of the stuff was poured into a storm drain that ran into a human-made lake.

That's the most we can make of it.

– tinytowntimes.com staff

 

 

Last Updated on Tuesday, 21 July 2015 21:39
 

Monterey Bay Seafood Watch List: Make sure that fish on your dish ain't on the list ...

E-mail Print PDF

Reddit!
Del.icio.us!
Facebook!
StumbleUpon!
Twitter!

 

Like Seafood? Sure you do. But do you like to eat seafood on a list that turns your stomach via your conscience? Maybe not so much. The Monterey Bay Aquarium publishes an bi-annual list of seafood that's healthy, ethical and what seafood you should avoid if you don't want to get ill.

This National Consumer Guide is free and can be downloaded at www.seafoodwatch.org -- search for Seafood National Guide. Read. Learn, choose what's good for you, your family and the planet. The folks at Monterey Bay Aquarium are world leaders when it comes to keeping track of what's going in the life of our ocean worlds. If they say avoid it, please listen.

 

 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 08 July 2015 19:38
 


Page 4 of 74

Arts & Entertainment

Opinion / Letters