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The Cell Phone Agoniste

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cell phone rant

Tiny Town, USA – Franklin Crawford lost his cell phone. Boo-hoo. The Thing is, if you could read this screen captcha and you can if you go to the tinytowntimes.com Faceboook page, the LOSS WAS TOTAL.

It was a TOTAL LOSS. And it made me realize that's what self-hones do, they lose. They get it all down to the dirty details and then they fling themselves down storm drains, swam dive into toilets, nip into club upholstery, the hollows and folds in a pocked and swollen topo map of shifting cityscapes and parklands.

That is this invention's most accomplished service: its complete lose-ability. According to a site called Micro-trax.com, 113 cell phones are lost or stolen every minute in the U.S.

I know that keeping cell phone customers satisfied and happy is one of the gigantic spheres whose gravity ever more stupendous arcs and aerodynamically bowed spines and galaxial surfaces are influenced upon in this, as part of this, as yet Aristotelian economic gyroscope called telecommunications  (let that last hyper-inflated series of words collapse and deflate under the immensity of its own no-meaning, then fold where marked and store it in a cool dry place as per caterer's instructions) ...

But for all that purple prose cell phones have not stopped becoming losable. 

So I just went ahead lost one. It was really really easy. So easy, I think it had to be part of the plan from the beginning. They are designed to be lost.

Today I am even more sure of this inherent design. I would call it a flaw except that it works so well.

For a much more interesting far less convoluted discussion, with facts, about the loss of cell phones in America, see

It made me feel special. Just out of curiosity, do you know of anyone who has NOT lost a cell phone? 

–  Franklin A. Crawford, temporarily in-communicado, but I exist on multi-media platforms, the only way to keep from going all the way down. And there is a down side. 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 18 July 2012 16:05
 

From Drip-Drop to Hip Hop: Upcoming Events including Paired Lectures at Fresh Blends

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Tiny Town, USA – Some artsy-anthropes have put together a confusing but intriguing series of paired lectures called Fresh Blends. 

What makes it fresh, for us, is that it seems to be a homespun product. It's located downtown at least – way downtown, right next to Agway at 225 S. Fulton Street. 

The event takes place on Friday, May 11 at 7.30 p.m. and features two speakers each of whom will say their piece and then the audience can have at them. 

Check out the poster above. Fred Cowett is a doctoral candidate at Cornell in the Department of Horticulture and he's gonna tell us about "Trees and Stormwater." 

We only have the poster to go by but seems like the young Mr. Cowett is gonna give his thesis a dry run before he faces the academic executioners. We don't know that for sure. But there are experimental plantings now where trees can be grown within a porous paved surface. The idea is to use subsurface soil  to encourage root growth of trees and turf that will then store excess storm-water or runoff. I'm not going to blow Mr. Cowett's punchline but there's an example of this design in the new parking lot along the inlet. Half the lot is porous asphalt, half traditional asphalt.You tell them the rest, professor-in-progress Cowett.

The flip side of the twin bill is a presentation by Ben Ortiz, who is going to either rap or talk straight or in spoken word about Cornell's Hip-Hop Collection. Yes, gentle readers, Cornell has a Hip-Hop Collection. Mr. Ortiz is curatorial assistant for these curious holdings (do Cornell trustees listen to Hip-Hop? Ya gotta wonder).

Cornell Library’s Division of Rare and Manuscript Collections possesses a significant archive on the history of hip hop that documents its emergence from the Bronx in the 1970s and early 1980s. The collection chronicles the origins and growth of hip hop culture through preservation of original artifacts (including a wax figurine of Run DMC). Included is the largest institutionally assembled collection of early hip hop recordings on vinyl (7,000 recordings and growing), sound files of early battles (we're assuming wars of words) and live performances, the photographic archive of Bronx photographer Joe Conzo, Jr., several hundred 1970s and 1980s hip hop party and event flyers that include the working archive of artist Buddy Esquire, the archive of Breakbeat Lenny, books, magazines, textiles (paintings on velvet mayhaps?) and more.

If you didn't miscalculate your happy hour beverage intake, check it out. There's a $5 fee and beverages are promised to be served. Seating is limited so get there early and have yourself a good time.

For other upcoming events, enlarge your browser to read the posters found in the Gimme! coffee shop on W. State St. You're bound to find something you don't have time for.

– C. Penbroke Handy, back on the culture beat and eco-beats and not happy about it

Last Updated on Thursday, 10 May 2012 02:15
 

Busted for Too Much Information!

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Tiny Town, USA – Talk some really loud and obnoxious smack on a public street like you own the goddamn place and -- you're busted.

Rather than bother the police with another call about loud people getting all nasty n shit on a cell phone, we decided that from now on, if it happens on our street, we are going to take your picture and publish it. That's right. 

Offenders include the woman pictured who thought it perfectly fine at 9 a.m. to yell at the top of her voice to some other asshole on the receiving end. For a full 10 minutes! This is just bull shit, okay?

She doesn't live here, she works in a place nearby. That doesn't give anyone license to talk trash and holler your crap ass complaints for all to hear  -- the verbal equivalent of public littering. That's why there's Jerry Springer. 

Now, clearly this lady had some issues to settle with someone. We know all about it now! So next time you are airing out your dirty laundry in public expect to see it here. And next time, we're gonna record it, too. 

We're all somebody's baby and baby, it's time to grow up and look around. The world ain't about you and your little dramas. 

– C. Penbroke Handy, self-appointed public moralist

Last Updated on Thursday, 12 May 2011 09:39
 

On a Dark and Sunday Night, Count Basie's Band Plays On

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See the Pyramids Along the Nile

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 You don't have to go far to get a quick hit of gratitude on the streets of Tiny Town. Every step gets you closer, if you are able-bodied and somewhat sound of mind, to that dreadfully tranquil place of being glad you are not "one of them." Well, who are they? We can see Mrs. Teeter from where we are standing and a couple other of the folks in the short video, intended to be a poignant tribute to staff and residents of Son of a Beechtree Skilled Nursing Facility for taking an impossible situation and working the best out of it. Nice work, all. 

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Last Updated on Saturday, 03 July 2010 12:31
 


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