TINY TOWN, USA – This trio of events mark TTT's trial bulletin board series "Crosstown Traffic." If we remember to do it again, we will do it again and better still.
THE CAMPBELL BROTHERS: TODAY!!! Aug. 13 --
The Campbell Brothers are one of the best things to come out of Rochester since Kodachrome and have proven far more enduring. Chad Coles, our advertising director never dances -- that is until you ply him with Patrone and some live music by the Campbell Brothers. The last time Chad saw them at the Chapter House, he danced until closing and kissed a man on the lips. Such is the powerful sway of this inspired trio. Well, there were three and then a woman, says Chad. Then things got a little fuzzy and he woke up on someone's couch in just his skivvies. He had a swell time -- and you will too. And heck, you don't need no drinks when these folks get going. Praise the Lord!
THE ITHACA SUFFER JETS vs. THE WILMINGTON RUFF ROLLERS
Was there life before The Suffer Jets? Hard to imagine. These babes not only know how to take it, they are well versed in dishing it out. More fun than an island full of drunken monkeys speaking Slavic languages and way less stressful. Doors open at 7 p.m., Saturday, Aug. 22, at Cass Park Rink, the Suffer Jets home dome. If you haven't watched them do their thing, you must be within an inch of death. Teachers get an apple.
Also: There will be music by The Motivators with lead singer Eli (Budgie) Ben-Yaacov (pictured below) fresh from his European tour and Japanese junket where he was big big big. Be there or be judged lacking in some significant way and outcast by a capricious g-d.
THE BOOKAH – ONLY AT BUFFALO STREET BOOKS!
Our next item concerns the first image above top left: Who needs to read books when you can inhale them? The Bookah is a contraption that's gonna give Reader's Digest a kick in the pylorus. It's a vented bin filled with the shreds of many books, including "From Here to Eternity" by James Jones. If that sounds pungent, get a whiff of "The Letters of Henry James." Heady stuff! An exhaust fan stirs the prose off its pages and into your snozzola via tubes and a surgical face mask. It's completely sterile. The first time. Instructions are included as well as a list of shredded books.
The Bookah was designed and built by local craftsperson Benjamin Andrew, a fellow with a sense of humor. Our reporter gave it the sniff test and was unfit to drive for several hours so full of great works was he.
G. Weissbrot, owner of Buffalo Street Books where the gizmo currently resides (215 N. Cayuga St. don't let the address fool ya and you don't have to inhale, just buy) demonstrated the model for our cameraman:
← BOOKAH, DANNO: This is an example of the effect of just one huff off The Bookah -- Weissbrot got a hit of S.J. Perelman and had to go home early with a gastric hemorrhage named Mary who was here on shore leave.
Parents: We caution you to not let your children play with The Bookah. Also note: Inhaling illustrated texts is a Class D felony and will put Child Protective Services onto you for the remainder of your days. Do not try this in the children's section of the store. We do not know as yet if there are shredded illustrated texts in The Bookah, but the nature of much of the adult -- and we mean boring for a kid -- materials within will definitely put your child to sleep.
Follow your nose to Buffalo Street Books and get tanked on that Old Book Smell, just like Grammy used to do. Why do you think she outlived grandpa?
Get real. Get Bookah'd.
–– C. Penbroke Handy
Crosstown Traffic
