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On Missing Jose Feliciano, The Skillet Second and a Poem

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Chad w/typewriter Tiny Town, USA – De gustibus non es disputandum, Dad always said after a couple of breakfast beers and a belch that rattled the windows in the Quonset Hut we grew up in.

Mistaking his own vulgate for a commercial jingle, Dad would then say: "Ronzoni is So Good."

We all knew exactly what he was talking about and to this day it is valuable information.

He was right: To each according to their own taste and there is no accounting for that unless you want to get to know someone really really well and for that you gotta pay.

That's right.

Analysts pay for their client's maunderings at a rate equal to the cost of the Speed of Light, which has no fixed rate as yet but don't think NYSEG hasn't looked into the Skillet Second.

What is a Skillet Second? Well, here's a brief summary from Franklin Crawford's Ph.D thesis, which ranges way outside his area of expertise but don't say nothing because when the experts bitch about "generalists" you know you rattled their cages.

Skillet Seconds: A Model•Map

Definiton: "The time it takes for the sound of peeling paint to travel from inside my head to a piece of paper as an expression."

Time [Action; Ta']

Problem: How to express the time it take for the sounds of an idea (because all ideas are sounds -- tbd [to be determined) to travel from the perception of those sounds from inside the listener's head (peeling paint, for example) to a piece of paper or computer screen. That means adding another factor like the body; arm-hand-keyboard stroke -- to replicate the sound in real time in a way that is AUDIBLE or READABLE to the listener (for example, the audience -- a reader listens to their own brain when reading a book or hears the sound of a piano being played)

OVER: The ability of the Creator/Receptor of the idea to produce that sound efficiently enough to reproduce it perfectly (See "Too Effing Hard" ...]

TIMES: The ability of a Nincompoop to do so.

Time it takes for sound (S) ound to travel ( "t" or arrow) from perception (P) [hearing sound]  -- ???

Well.

It All is a Work-in-Progress. And it all has to do with Chad Coles here at tinytowntimes.com saying he really missed José Feliciano.

We'd sent Chad over to Walmart to return a crapass Sunbeam humidifier (Made in China, distributed by Jarden, Inc. in Boca Raton. Fl.) to the Chinese Company where the people Are Not Happy in Their Work.

Anyway. Chad must've heard something and probably it was "Felice Navidad" because it starts up about now and doesn't stop until All The Ghosts are assembled for the holidays.

jose feliciano Feliciano went blind after he was born due to congenital glaucoma. He was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Spanish Harlem. He played accordion until a family friend handed him a guitar in a paper sack. It took Mr. Feliciano only a couple hours to figure out that the paper sack was not part of the guitar but by then he had already composed an astonishing number of hits like "Felice Paper Bag" which was later changed. The original has a crinkly accompaniment that only recently was adequately captured in a sound sample and immediately adopted by a PanAmerican Rap Group Called "Yes, We Have No Riega."

Don't get mad at me. I'm just The Messenger. Which is the same as saying Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player. Which is True!

Anyway, we suggested Chad put his thoughts on paper. He signed-off with a curious new heteronym "f.al'58" and we are still puzzled by that one.

Here is Chad's Thanksgiving Day Poem: "On Missing Jose Feliciano, in IV":

 

On Missing Jose Felciano in IV

Call Me a Joker
Call Me a Fool
Call Me a Cab
When I'm Too Much for You.

God don't Play Poker

Or So I am Told

Felice Navidad Felice Navidad

I'm Done Getting Old.

I'm Glad I'm Not God, but
I Can Play Some Piano
And tonight A Big Ol' Schmaltz Is Coming On:
So I'm asking José –
José Feliciano! To Play
"Light My Fire" as a Trickotee Waltz
With Santana!
Or Hand it to Lenny – yeh
Lenny Tristano
Awake in His Vault [He was blind, too, y'know?]
With only One Hand: He Was a Mighty Pianimal!

Hey, José
You Were Blind
Did You Meet God?
O! José Can You See
I'm in a Bit of a Bind
Felice Navidad
Felice Navidad
I'm So Far Behind!

– f.al'58
Lenny Tristano of course, is a Great Jazz Pianist. You should listen to him do hooked bass-lines with One Hand ...Anyway. Chad looks better today.
– Franklin Crawford, Operation a Success!
Last Updated on Thursday, 22 November 2012 12:05
 

What's in a Business Card any more, anyway?

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Tiny Town, USA --  Are you in your pajamas? What's in a biz card nowadays?

Plenty.

For instance, the entire back of the ttt card shown above can be used to do simple  math, write down another number or pick your teeth.

This card means a lot to us here.

And if C. Penbroke may get a little sentimental for a moment (I will anyway so go back to sleep), having a card reminds me a great deal of finding a stash of my own father's business cards in his desk. They were simple:

ALBERT C. CRAWFORD

BUILDER 

The letters were slightly embossed. The card had our phone number and address on it.

My father was important! WE were important! 

We think our card, designed by Rigel Stuhmiller, nee Belinda Cho, is elegant, tasteful and gets the job done.

Remember: we too, at TinyTownTimes.com, are builders.

– C. Penbroke Handy  

 

More About Tiny Town Times and How it Works

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   ttt clean room ttt lunch  


TINY TOWN, USA –– Take a look! We're improving our Web Site. There's our designer Belinda Cho making magic happen in the TTT clean room on the left.

In the middle is Jock Poseidon, our local fish monger. Here at the TTT offices we usually send out for lunch owing to our intense schedules.

Poz, as we call him, dips his line in a local creek and always cooks up something fresh. We think it is important to support the local economy and we tip generously.

On the far right, well ...

We need a plumber. We put a lot of our grant money into the clean room and research and the rest of the place could use ... a tender touch.

Stay tuned for more updates.

–– C. Penbroke Handy

Last Updated on Tuesday, 06 March 2012 10:44
 

A view inside the tinytowntimes.com office complex

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new offices

 

TINY TOWN, USA – Readers are already curious about where we are located and what kind of office space we use and is it forced air heating or radiant and does the roof giggle and do you have a co-ed employee toilet, etc.

At left, observe our reception area, with Chad Coles, director of public relations and advertising there in the striped shirt.

Chad is worried about his weight so we recommended he go wth the vertical stripes for this picture, which he did not want to be in.

We said: "Chad, we understand your reticence and recognize your need for privacy but we would also appreciate our director of PR and Ads to put on the ol' public face now and then. After all, we can't hide behind our laptops all the time."

Chad, blushing like a bride with a herpes sore, acquiesced.

Between the bar and the unhinged door you will see a prototype issue of tinytowntimes that we rejected as too traditional although we liked the fact that it was almost unreadable. 

Yes, that is a Franklin Stove on the left. The landlord said we shouldn't use it as there isn't any flue or chimney.

As the summer nights have been chilly, we have, admittedly, burned copies of local newspapers and some books like Catcher in the Rye and A Separate Peace, decadent materials both of them. We also tried to burn the complete works of Mary McCarthy for no damn good reason at all but that we found them in the basement.

The smoke damned near killed us, the books were damp, and we're still airing the place out, hence the door. The windows are nailed shut for security purposes. 

The room on the other side of the door looks like this: 

TTT office 2

 

As you can see, it is almost a scale model of the other room, and Chad is in there, too.

And so are We (in the creative white space to the right). That is, us, the editorial staff at tinytowntimes.com.

Now, if that isn't META enough for your post-post-modern positivist realist ass, get a move on. We've got work to do.

–– C. Penbroke Handy, asso. adminstrator

–– Chad Coles, PR, AdQ and S&M 

 ps: the roof does not giggle, but in a high wind, whispers "Mary." 

 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 July 2009 22:26
 

Tinytowntimes.com Ad Blitz stuns area market

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cow ad TINY TOWN, USA –– Tinytowntimes.com launched a preemptive advertising campaign in advance of its official September splash sensing that after just one week of activity it was all carpe diem and no looking back. Some test ads have already been circulated to the "media" and other social networking tools. 

The Research and Development team are eager to hear from readers who feel slighted, insulted, left out, embarassed, disappointed, bored, irritable or otherwise not content with the nature of these ads. 

Whatever your response, you can reach the TTT.com crew by clicking on "Contact Us" under ABOUT TTT.COM at the top of the menu on the left hand side of your screen.

See you all on the friendly fields of strife. 

–– C. Penbroke Handy, asso. managing editor 

 

TTT.com ad

Last Updated on Sunday, 09 September 2012 07:08
 
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