Tiny Town, USA – We are accustomed to getting our zombie fix at county board meetings. But Friday's mixer promises to be within easy grasp of anyone who already vomited on themselves during happy hour.
A crew of the grateful undead are inviting others to join them for the first Ithaca Zombie Lurch. The poster ←here should give you all the information needed and we are told zombie tee-shirts also will be available.
Costumes are welcome and participants are encouraged to accessorize with blood and gore.
While necrophilia in New York is not punishable by law, the health department strongly advises against it. Also, the undead charter a queasy gray zone where animate life and inanimate life seem to co-exist. As they are mostly interested in eating living human beings, especially sloppy seconds from the corpus callossum, it occurs to us to warn participants of the inherent dangers of entering into coital relations with one of the undead. At the very least, it is considered unhygienic.
The breakdown of organic tissue into simpler forms of matter, commonly referred to as "decomposition" is by its nature a malodorous event. Further caution is advised if one experiences an undead being with the bloat. Bloat is the second stage of decomposition and is not to be confused with the pasty puff of a carbo-loaded Metrosexual. If any undead exhibit cadaverous bloat, keep your distance. Serious microbial proliferation is underway; the purging of gases and liquids is at times explosive. Tip: The combustible undead's countenance is usually obscured by a seething hatch of blowflies. . For this reason Hazmat suits are recommended for scenesters who just want to view the lurch.
This, from co-organizer Aner Tal:
"The undead shall gather at the Chapter House at 8 p.m. and lurch to the Commons at 8:45, gathering on the Aurora end at 9:00 (near Madeleine’s) and the Cayuga end at 10:00 (near Evolution, where Ithaca is Zombies t-shirts will be sold). From there the zombies will lurch on to Felicia’s and The Westy at 10:45. Participating bars include Chapter House, Kilpatrick’s, Madeleine’s, Bandwagon, Delilah’s, Culture Shock, Chanticleer, Felicia’s and The Westy. Those bars will offer specials to zombies. Survivors of the lurch who’ve stuck with it from Aurora to the Westy will participate in a raffle for some cool stuff we’re gathering.
The event is co-sponsored by Ithaca Improv Everywhere and the Cornell GPSC.
I’m attaching the promotional poster and T-shirt (which we’re pre-selling them (Fruit of the Loom) at a cut-throat $10 for those who order before the event, $12 day of, with limited quantities available – it’s not to make a profit, btw, just because I think it’s fucking cool to have that tshirt showing around town). Both designed by Oded Naaman."
You must know Oded. He's so Undead.
See the Zombie Lurch Facebook page for more about the shirts.
Drink with abandon but avoid driving you crazy undead kids you. Handicap parking recommended.
– C. Penbroke Handy, more of a vampire man, but an old fan of The Zombies