Home Tiny Satellites Attending to Tiny Town, Friday, Aug. 30, 2013

Attending to Tiny Town, Friday, Aug. 30, 2013

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A late summer weather system of suspect origin made for a week that will not be remembered by many a year from now

1) Citizen complains that parts of tiny town smell like dog shit and dead fish.

2) Aquatic herbicide treatments of Six Mile Creek have eliminated target and non-target plants. Wise man once said: "Water that is too clean is not good for fish."

3) Wegmans Deposit Bottle Recycling Machine blows up ... Mgt recommends alternative entrance for shoppers while HAZMAT teams investigate a possible chemical explosion. Right on!

4) Thermal Inversion turns New York State Fair Senior event into Oxygen Deprived Tuesday ... With little air to breathe and lots of beer to drink, The People elected to stay and eat deep fried pickles in their wheechairs.

5) A sun shower drops 0.5 inches of rain on a single Town of Ithaca home.

6) Large orb-weaving spider relocated by wildlife expert after gardener frightened from pea patch.

7) Plans for the former Clinton West Laundromat remain undisclosed after late winter boarding of windows.

8) An enormous woodchuck nicknamed "Pounder" was found on a downtown resident's back deck helping itself to a bunch of rotten bananas in the compost and eating morning glory seeds. Pounder squeezed between railings and backflipped onto the lawn and shuttled off apparently uninjured.

9) A bat flew around the lobby of the DeWitt corridor until an alert citizen recommended opening an outside door. Said bat then exited.

10) A man who once fretted about the size of his penis and a woman who claimed she had small breasts quietly celebrated their 10th anniversary this week. No one noticed.

Complied by Anon



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Last Updated on Thursday, 29 August 2013 17:13  

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