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The Cell Phone Agoniste

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cell phone rant

Tiny Town, USA – Franklin Crawford lost his cell phone. Boo-hoo. The Thing is, if you could read this screen captcha and you can if you go to the tinytowntimes.com Faceboook page, the LOSS WAS TOTAL.

It was a TOTAL LOSS. And it made me realize that's what self-hones do, they lose. They get it all down to the dirty details and then they fling themselves down storm drains, swam dive into toilets, nip into club upholstery, the hollows and folds in a pocked and swollen topo map of shifting cityscapes and parklands.

That is this invention's most accomplished service: its complete lose-ability. According to a site called Micro-trax.com, 113 cell phones are lost or stolen every minute in the U.S.

I know that keeping cell phone customers satisfied and happy is one of the gigantic spheres whose gravity ever more stupendous arcs and aerodynamically bowed spines and galaxial surfaces are influenced upon in this, as part of this, as yet Aristotelian economic gyroscope called telecommunications  (let that last hyper-inflated series of words collapse and deflate under the immensity of its own no-meaning, then fold where marked and store it in a cool dry place as per caterer's instructions) ...

But for all that purple prose cell phones have not stopped becoming losable. 

So I just went ahead lost one. It was really really easy. So easy, I think it had to be part of the plan from the beginning. They are designed to be lost.

Today I am even more sure of this inherent design. I would call it a flaw except that it works so well.

For a much more interesting far less convoluted discussion, with facts, about the loss of cell phones in America, see

It made me feel special. Just out of curiosity, do you know of anyone who has NOT lost a cell phone? 

–  Franklin A. Crawford, temporarily in-communicado, but I exist on multi-media platforms, the only way to keep from going all the way down. And there is a down side. 

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 18 July 2012 16:05  

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