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Herb Alpert Finger Puppeteers Bring Joy to Sunday Workers

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Last Updated on Monday, 12 January 2015 00:26
 

Chad is Back! And he brought the Lucky Monkey with him!

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Need we say more? Chad is back! The Super AdQ Guy with the Funky Monkey with the skull and ... The Lucky Ithaca Monkey Brick!

 

 

Happy Hour morphs into Zombie Lurch this Friday, Oct. 28

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Tiny Town, USA – We are accustomed to getting our zombie fix at county board meetings. But Friday's mixer promises to be within easy grasp of anyone who already vomited on themselves during happy hour. 

A crew of the grateful undead are inviting others to join them for the first Ithaca Zombie Lurch. The poster ←here should give you all the information needed and we are told zombie tee-shirts also will be available. 

Costumes are welcome and participants are encouraged to accessorize with blood and gore. 

While necrophilia in New York is not punishable by law, the health department strongly advises against it. Also, the undead charter a queasy gray zone where animate life and inanimate life seem to co-exist. As they are mostly interested in eating living human beings, especially sloppy seconds from the corpus callossum, it occurs to us to warn participants of the inherent dangers of entering into coital relations with one of the undead. At the very least, it is considered unhygienic. 

The breakdown of organic tissue into simpler forms of matter, commonly referred to as "decomposition" is by its nature a malodorous event. Further caution is advised if one experiences an undead being with the bloat. Bloat is the second stage of decomposition and is not to be confused with the pasty puff of a carbo-loaded Metrosexual. If any undead exhibit cadaverous bloat, keep your distance. Serious microbial proliferation is underway; the purging of gases and liquids is at times explosive. Tip: The combustible undead's countenance is usually obscured by a seething hatch of blowflies. . For this reason Hazmat suits are recommended for scenesters who just want to view the lurch. 

This, from co-organizer Aner Tal:

"The undead shall gather at the Chapter House at 8 p.m. and lurch to the Commons at 8:45, gathering on the Aurora end at 9:00 (near Madeleine’s) and the Cayuga end at 10:00 (near Evolution, where Ithaca is Zombies t-shirts will be sold). From there the zombies will lurch on to Felicia’s and The Westy at 10:45.  Participating bars include Chapter House, Kilpatrick’s, Madeleine’s, Bandwagon, Delilah’s, Culture Shock, Chanticleer, Felicia’s and The Westy. Those bars will offer specials to zombies. Survivors of the lurch who’ve stuck with it from Aurora to the Westy will participate in a raffle for some cool stuff we’re gathering.  

The event is co-sponsored by Ithaca Improv Everywhere and the Cornell GPSC.

 I’m attaching the promotional poster and T-shirt (which we’re pre-selling them (Fruit of the Loom) at a cut-throat $10 for those who order before the event, $12 day of, with limited quantities available – it’s not to make a profit, btw, just because I think it’s fucking cool to have that tshirt showing around town). Both designed by Oded Naaman.

You must know Oded. He's so Undead. 

See the Zombie Lurch Facebook page for more about the shirts. 

Drink with abandon but avoid driving you crazy undead kids you. Handicap parking recommended.

– C. Penbroke Handy, more of a vampire man, but an old fan of The Zombies

Last Updated on Monday, 24 October 2011 22:15
 

Victor The Fainting Fawn at Wild Things Sanctuary

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Wild Things Sanctuary (WTS) is dedicated to helping native wildlife though rescue and rehab of debilitated, orphaned and/or displaced animals until they are ready for release into the wild. WTS also aims to provide a sanctuary for non-releasable native animals. The sanctuary is committed to improving the well-being of wildlife through pubic educaiton with a focus on safe and peaceful coexistence between humans and wildlife while emphasizing the importance of wildlife to human life and the environment we share together.

WTS could use your support. Contributions are tax deductible. Contact Victoria Campbell at:

PO Box 713
Ithaca, NY 14851

(607) 200 4100
wildthingssanctuary@gmail.com

WTS is a registered 501(3)c non-profit public charity

For more information visit: www.wildthingssanctuary.org/index.html

Last Updated on Tuesday, 02 August 2011 19:25
 

Jesus and Satan team up with Park Outdoor to pose a question about your soul

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A SOULFUL QUESTION FOR THE AMBIVALENT: Can't make up your mind about who should get your soul? Park Outdoor is there to serve as a DeFault Soul Recipient (DSR) and it says so right at the bottom of this billboard in Elmira Heights, where people know a thing or two about losing their souls. 

Tiny Town Satellite of Elmira Hgts – The question is simple – the editorial use of "We" suggests a third party is involved in this life or death "advertisement."

And lo! Who but Park Outdoor?

 

Yes! The deceased Roy Park, national Pennysaver and billboard mogul, railroad tycoon, fish monger and world class snake charmer, kicker of Carpet Bagging ass since the Reconstruction Period, speaks to us from beyond the pale horizon of mortal beings.

In his time this immortal consorted with all manner of saint and sinner. It was never clear whose side he was on but it is clear that our late local billionaire is now interested in much bigger stuff than making bucks off Corporate Christians and baffling the Ithaca College Board of Trustees with bricks and mortar instead of big fat endowments.

He wants us to make a choice. Not today, necessarily, but right soon, ya heah? If no decision comes, Park Outdoor gets your soul. It's just that simple. 

Clever man he is, we see Park still working both sides of the gambit. He leaves the decision to each motorist and pedestrian. At last count, he was as successful snatching souls as Citigroup was at subsidizing subprime mortgages. 

Roy's robust sense of humor never deserted him, though. Unlike that class clown, Sandy Weill, Park's smile is real.  

He doesn't even care if these blown up digitized images are crapass. He knows we know that THAT's Jesus, the non-perishable son of G-d, on the left, and that THAT's a Filipino Box Spring Hog marinated in tandoori and roasted to perfection, on the right. 

What a guy ol' Royal Horatio Park! A man who had his own personal landscaping crew to attend those prodigious eyebrows! -- and who knows? Once he passed this earthly manure pile, those heat and light seeking brows may have grown and grown, ever toward the starry climes where he now travels; tiny tendrils piercing invisible seams in his golden tomb of Hammurabi ... rise! rise antennae, rise! like the grasses along the Ypres Salient; surgically invading the graveyard turf, immune to fertilizers, a great intelligence, at work, fronds retreating at the sound of mowers and edgers  ... nibbled at by ruminant and weasel to their distaste but a useful floss for cats, confusing pheasant and peacock, butterfly dog and plant pathologist -- Brows of no minor player in the Roman Pantheon -- friend to the Greek shipping magnate, and the King of Nestlé Quik! 

Welcome back old fella! We knew you'd send us a message sooner or later. 

And fiendishly clever of you to outwit that wacko Cayuga Heights mayor who was giving your daughter such trouble about the deer. He's gone -- and ... and -- YOU are here.

Park Outdoor rulz! 

– Penny Loafer 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 24 March 2010 09:55
 
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